Trans Visiblity: Rallying, allying and minding your own business

NB – I am open to suggestions and making edits to this piece if anyone feels the language used is inappropriate or inaccurate. Please drop me a message and let me know. 

Here is an extract from a recent conversation I had:

“But the first Matrix is definitely the best Wachowski Brothers’ film”

“They’re actually not called the Wachowski Brothers anymore, as one of them has since transitioned”

“Ah okay, didn’t know that! Good pub quiz knowledge!”

And then the conversation moved on. Transgender people are arguably more visible now than ever before, and words and phrases such as “transition”, “non-binary”, “female-to-male” and “gender identity” are far more commonplace in general vocabulary and seem to not need the level of explanation that they once did. That isn’t to say that it’s fully entrenched in common knowledge, and many people still don’t know the difference between terms such as “transgender”, “transvestite” and “hermaphrodite” (and think “cis” is some kind of infection), (the BBC published a helpful glossary this week). Awareness is rising, and that’s never been more true than this week, with Caitlyn Jenner’s Vanity Fair cover, quickly becoming the most visible trans person in the world.

Transvisibility has certainly increased in the last couple of years. Openly trans actress and activist Laverne Cox rose to prominence in Orange is the New Black, later gracing the cover of Time magazine and posing nude for Allure. Trans models such as Lea T and Andeja Pejic have been very visible in fashion and beauty campaigns. Popular television shows such as Transparent and Louis Theroux’s “Transgender Kids” have been educational to audiences. Journalist and presenter Paris Lees, once voted top of the “pink list” of influential UK LGBT people, has brought a lot of attention to trans issues. Trans men continue to be less visible, although statistics suggest that they are similar in number.

Prior to this week I was only vaguely aware of Ms Jenner (I’ve never watched her reality shows) but lately my social media has been awash with images of her, celebrating her bravery, openness and the inspiration she gives. But you only need to read the comments posted on this article (or indeed from some celebrities) to see how far we have to go in terms to increasing awareness, acceptance and equality for the transgender and minority gender identity community.

Trans people experience significant discrimination and abuse. Many trans people, particularly women of colour, are murdered each year. They are rejected by their families, bullyied and the list of those who turn to suicide increases. The stories of Leelah Alcorn and Lucy Meadows are two recent tragic examples that have been publicised. Trans rights were largely ignored in the equal marriage debates, and the issue of “spousal veto” remains – in which a married person applying for a gender recognition certificate must have the approval of their spouse. The UK’s most prominent gay rights charity Stonewall has only recently begun to represent trans people, after lengthy lobbying. Transphobia is pervasive and often slips under the radar, as though seem as a fair topic for fun rather than an undercurrent of prejudice that impacts on the lives of trans people continually. Trans people are often the subject of jokes in the media and derogatory terms such as “tr*nny” are used without thought. If you look out for it you might be surprised the level of offensive language commonly used that refers negatively to trans communities, often slipping in subtly. Trans people are overrepresented in mental health populations, and with a lifetime of discrimination and high incidences of trauma it’s little wonder why. In order to access gender identity services people must jump through considerable hoops that include extensive psychiatric evaluation. The past hashtag #transdocfail exhibited just how uninformed health professionals are about trans issues. Any one of these instances is shocking, but together it’s a pretty horrifying picture of how we treat human beings we see as “different”.

Knowing you, perhaps

Rules of Attraction – “What does that mean know me, know me, nobody ever knows anybody else, ever! You will never know me. ”

The woman in front of me frowns, frustrated. “It makes me really angry, I feel like they’re not listening to me, they just don’t understand how things are for me.” We talk about the different ways she can make herself heard, express her perspective in a way that others could be receptive to. Finding a common language to share her experience, that others can translate.

But I wonder if what we’re chasing after is actually something of a myth. This idea that if we found the right words, the right time, and said it in just the other way, others would get it. They’d be able to step into our shoes, inside our skin and really see the world as we see it. The truth is that another person can’t ever truly know what it is to be you. We don’t even know if we’re all staring at the same colour ‘blue’. The same words spoken will be heard and interpreted very different by different people, depending on their own experience and stored knowledge, or how they happen to be feeling at that moment. No matter how clearly you put it, you can’t be sure of what others will take away. And someone can spend a lot of time with you, learn all your history, your interests, your little quirks and mannerisms. And then they will know an awful lot about you, but they won’t know what it’s really like, your own private, subjective experience, what it is to be you.

Like Nagel says, despite everything we know about mammal anatomy, physiology and infra-red, we don’t really know what it’s like to be a bat.

But we want to be understood. We want to be known. The imagined intimacy that comes from someone really knowing you so entirely. Total understanding. But there will always be a limit to this (or at least until we find a way of plugging in to each other’s brains). How can we tolerate this? That total understanding is a fantasy and reality others will always get it just that bit wrong? That no matter how well you know someone, there will always be a mystery there that can’t be solved.