Stroke, sexuality, sexism…back on track!

Harmless fun? If my meal's going to be unnecessarily gendered I hope it comes with pink icing and glitter

Harmless fun? If my meal’s going to be unnecessarily gendered I hope it comes with pink icing and glitter

After a long hiatus I’ve finally got time to get back to this blog. I can see that my last entry was Halloween 2013 – which was about 6 months before my thesis hand-in (so you can imagine how the time following this was spent). I’ve now completed my studies, qualified and am working as a clinical psychologist in a brain injury service. Getting up to speed on my new job (not to mention actually having to go to work 5 days a week, without a study day in sight!) has left me pretty shattered but I’m slowly adjusting to my new routine. A quick update on my recent movements:

  • I recently submitted my thesis (which was about sexual issues post-stroke and how rehab professionals work with these) for publication and I also presented it as part of a talk on sexuality and acquired brain injury that I did at the last SHADA (Sexual Health and Disability Alliance) meeting. I think I’ve now exhausted the potential to spread this piece of research (until it’s finally published), I’m ready to move onto studying something a little different now and also getting back to writing.
  • Following the submission I finally got round to writing something for my university blog, “Discursive of Tunbridge Wells”, something I’ve been meaning to do for ages. Salomons runs their own blog as part of their public engagement drive, it covers a whole range of issues related to applied psychology – debates within mental health, professional roles, lived experiences. It has some great content from a really wide range of contributors and I’m quite proud that my old department is putting something like this out there – I think it’s the only clinical psychology course to do so. My piece is about supporting people with cognitive impairments (e.g. brain injury, LD) to vote and how mental capacity relates to this (or doesn’t). It’s something I’d come across in my work recently and I definitely feel it needs more awareness! I’m hoping to do more writing relating to health and disability issues in forums such as this.
  • A couple of days ago I received a request from a journalist. I was initially quite excited as I thought maybe they’d picked up my voting piece (it is topical after all…). But alas no, they were running a piece on something on twitter I’d responded to the other day. The “story” relates to a picture of a cafe menu in Bristol that has “for him” and “for her” breakfasts. The masculine meal is a greasy Full English whilst ladies get a lighter option with salad leaves and blueberries. Whilst I don’t think a gendered breakfast is the biggest threat to feminism, this kind of lazy stereotyping annoys me, especially the underlying idea that women should have the diet-friendly dish. The story was originally published in the Bristol Post, but was then picked up by several other media sources (including the Daily Mail) which pretty much recycled the entire article and quotes “Outrage at Sexist Menu!!”. The article has of course attracted many entertaining commenters who see us as miserable feminazis with nothing better to do than get offended. I’m amused that this has generated far far more interest than any of my research or any of the many articles I’ve written over the years!  I feel sorry for the cafe who admittedly acted thoughtlessly but didn’t really deserve the level of attention this piece of non-news has achieved.
No need to actually go on the Daily Mail website, here's the bit that mentions me as if I have some kind of special knowledge on these matters.

No need to actually go on the Daily Mail website, here’s the bit that mentions me as if I have some kind of special knowledge on these matters.

So I’m hoping to do much more writing, presenting and generally getting out into the world in the coming year. If anyone needs a comment or piece written on any of my usual topics (brain injury and rehabilitation, neuropsychology, sex and disability, ableism and “invisible disabilities”, sexual and gender minority issues and related things) do let me know! Or I can comment on minor acts of unintentional sexism, I’m versatile.

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X-rated Mind-Control: Why do we think watching porn is risky?

XXX

I’m currently working in a Learning Disability team (supporting adults who have low intellectual ability that causes significant functional and social impairment) and I came across the ‘Three Rs’ guide, which provides guidance on providing sex education, including several more controversial and problematic topics. One of these topics is pornography. The authors state that they do not recommend aiding a person with LD to access porn, as it gives unrealistic messages about sex and women. When I first read this I thought this view was quite narrow-minded. Adults without an LD can access porn without anyone else’s permission. There’s no one questioning how ‘realistic’ the porn they watch is, so shouldn’t adults with LD be able t to enjoy their sexuality in this way? Also is this a narrow-minded view of porn that carries with it assumptions of how porn influences behaviour?

I’m not an expert on the literature on how porn influences thought and behaviour (and if anyone knows any good papers I’d be interested in reading them), here I’m more interested in considering why it is we assume porn does influence us, even in the absence of evidence. Wikipedia has a bit of a summary on the mostly inconclusive and conflicting findings here

I’ve been considering the authors’ point of view. It’s made me wonder how much porn influences actual sexual behaviour, and also how much people think porn influences sexual behaviour (which may be quite different things!). Anti-porn campaigners feel strongly that porn distorts our views of bodies, women and sex/intimacy. Porn is said to be anti-women and exploitative and has been linked to increased pressure on women to engage in sex acts, and change their bodies to resemble those of porn-stars. I’m not sure what the actual evidence is that this happens. The allegations remind me of claims that violent films and computer games make people more violent, which has often been debated but very lacking in concrete evidence. What I do know is that porn as a topic tends to upset people and bring up strong emotions. Porn is frequently depicted as something unhealthy, deviant and a a threat to ‘normal’ relationships and sex. We don’t like to talk about it, but a very large proportion of adults (both male and female) enjoy porn as part of their sex life, without any obvious negative consequences.

Porn is essentially fantasy. In order to enjoy watching porn, and feeling turned on, there perhaps needs to be certain suspension of critical thinking. On some level you need to believe it’s real so you can enjoy it without thoughts like “Is she really enjoying that? Was that a fake orgasm? Would a plumber really be that easily seduced on the job?” Admittedly this might be easier with some porn that others! But it isn’t real, and part of the appeal is just that, it’s the sex you wish you were having, perhaps removed from inhibitions and other barriers, the women you wish you were having sex with, it’s the enactment of fantasies. Porn also provides gratification without any of the effortful interaction with another person. So people know it isn’t real yet they still enjoy it.

But how is it that you understand that porn isn’t real? I’d guess this is mostly a process of comparison, having enough experience of real-life men and women and sex to be able to identify which aspects of porn are less than realistic. And some people might be in a better position to engage in this kind of critique than others. If you have limited experience of sex (e.g. young people who may not yet be sexually active or people who are quite socially isolated) you might not have much of a basis to discriminate. Certain complex cognitive skills might also be necessary in order to discriminate between porn and reality and consider that what porn shows to be ‘true’ may not be so for others. If someone has cognitive abilities that are impaired or not fully developed (such as a child), this process might be a lot more difficult. Ideally good quality sex education would help someone to learn the discrepancies between porn and real-life sex, but this may not always be available in a timely and detailed manner. For some people, porn may be the only way they learn about sex. If this is the case, family and school have really let them down, and it makes sense that they might develop some more distorted views about sex and women.

More on ‘rape-porn’ and links to risk under cut…

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