Sometimes things are a bit shit. So what are you going to do about it?
Things have been quite stressful for me lately and I got to thinking about some of the clinical techniques I use (which I too-often completely fail to apply to myself!). I thought I’d share with you a little technique from the school of CBT. When I was doing my own therapy, my therapist tried this with me, it’s very simple, you can do it on your own, and even weirder still, it really does seem to help with depression.
When you’re feeling low, you look at the world and your life in a different way. At least, I did. Often you don’t realise you’re doing it, it seems a wholly realistic way of looking at things. When I was depressed, it was almost as if I have a loop in my head that replayed all the bad things that had happened to me, all the things I had done wrong, all the things that were wrong with me. It rolled around continually, and each time something bad happened, or even semi-bad, I added it to the list. So it was no particular surprise when bad things did happen (as they do to everyone). I expected it. Getting caught in the rain, losing my keys, getting a bad mark on a piece of work, someone giving me a dirty look, these were all reasons that life was bad and so was I. I’d mentally make a list of all the things I was bad at. It was almost like I took a kind of morbid enjoyment in collecting these things, further evidence of just how worthless I was.
The positive data-log is a simple idea, so simple that I scoffed a bit at how worthwhile it could actually be. Each day you write down a few good things that have happened. Admitedly, for a depressed person, this will be very challenging. It may seem like there is absolutely nothing to put on the list at all. This is where you have to start really small. Things that may seem ridiculously, perhaps pathetically small. A nice cup of tea. Finding a convenient parking space. A pretty view. You don’t have to show anyone the list and actually it’s not so much the content that’s important, as the process. The process of each day taking a few moments to consider things that are good, or even just ok, is beneficial. It probably won’t come naturally, depression tunes you into the negatives. But you try and write down a couple of things for each day and it gets a bit easier over time. This method is associated with improvement in mood, and I think it’s something that most of us would benefit from trying from time to time.
Here is mine for today:
- I ran for the bus (in heels!) and actually made it, much to my surprise
- A had a client cancel today, but it actually gave me some extra time to finish some work
- My supervisor complimented me on my technique today – wahoo!
- Caught a beautiful pink and gold sunset on the way home
- The man downstairs from my flat offered me a cup of tea. I didn’t have time to have one, but it was a nice offer.
There you go, it’s not been an extraordinary day by any means. Just a few simple things. You might be surprised at how well this works, I’m curious as to other people’s view on using this technique, both on yourself and with others.